i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.
as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck
Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson pose backstage after the Christian Dior show on July 7, 2014 in Paris, France.
girls aren’t “easy”, girls don’t have difficulty levels. some girls like sex and some girls don’t. you aren’t winning anything by getting either of them to sleep with you.
get to know me meme: [2/10] friendships » chandler bing & joey tribbiani
Wow, is this friendship? I think so.
…but the mere fact that they were still there on either side of him, speaking bracing words of comfort, not shrinking from him as though he were contaminated or dangerous, was worth more than he could ever tell them.
this is the best omegle conversation i’ve had so far
"millions of flower petals erupt from a volcano, covering an entire village"
how on earth
why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve
MALCOM WE HAVE TO COOK